Patricia 'Pat' Nichols (Buff)

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Patricia Nichols

The blink of an eye. The beat of a heart. That is what we tell our children when they ask about the passage of time. Has it really been 30 years? Bifocals, gray hair, aching joints and overactive bladder tell me its true, but the way I feel when I look at the pictures and read the bios of all of you, make me believe that it was just yesterday. The essence of the people we were show through in the people we have become. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree". One reason I have been looking forward to this particular reunion is that now, 30 years out, most of us will have shed our superficial self righteous skins allowing the often unflattering sagging skin of truth to finally show itself. I cannot wait to reconnect with the only people on this planet that knew me when my dreams were still obtainable, my health was "bullet-proof", my boobs were above my waist and gas was under a dollar a gallon. Over the years I have tried to teach my children life's lessons using proverbs and old sayings, it was easy for me to remember and difficult for them to forget. They have come to refer to it as "Fortune Cookie Logic". With that in mind I will attempt to bring you all up to speed on my travels over the last 30 years. Shortly after graduation I attended Chabot for a few semesters dropping out when I became pregnant with my first son Jason (28). Shortly thereafter, 12 months & 2 weeks to be exact, I birthed a second son Jeremy (27). "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it". As with so many of our peers I was a very immature 22 year old with no self esteem, 2 babies and the relationship from hell. I stayed with "what's his name" for 10 years, through 6 affairs, broken ribs, blacken eyes, and the idea that a good day was one in which I didn¼t get beaten. *Note: for those of you who will be thinking that you would never let that happen to you..."Never say never". For a variety of reasons I found my ticket out with nursing school and the love of those 2 little boys. While working at my very first nursing job I met, and fell in love with, a young man named Jerry Buff. We married in 1984 and had a daughter, Jennifer (21). Over the next 10 years we did what a lot of folks our age did - struggled. My boys always say that we weren¼t "P O O R"; we were just "P". I began what would become a 25+ year career with the V.A. Hospital System where I now work in intensive care. We moved several times, in the early days, living in Richmond (a boil on the butt of California), Vacaville, Fairfield, and finally settling in Reno, NV. For those of you who have never lived in the high desert you don't know what you are missing. We all fell in love with the place and were about to buy our first house when in 1994 my Mom died from complications of alcoholic liver disease. My parents had long ago moved back to their childhood home in Arkansas and with my Mom gone my father was unable to care for himself. (He too an alcoholic, like many of our peers parents) As some of you may recall I am an only child who happens to be a girl and a nurse - well my father would never have thrived so far away from his home, so "We loaded up the truck and we moved to B e v e r l y...", Opps wrong show. My family and I moved to Arkansas. My father passed away last year at the age of 80 and he was able to stay at home with us until the end. It felt pretty good to be able to keep that promise. As you might imagine living in the Deep South is quite a bit different than living in the Bay Area. For one thing all of the school age children must take a gun safety class and every year they get a week off for "Hunt¼ in Season". Everyone waves at everyone regardless if you know them or not and it is considered a social snafu to honk your car horn. Every single town no matter how small has a church, usually 2 or 3, a car wash and a Wal-Mart. (Just kidding about the Wal-Mart, but their corporate head quarters is located here) If you happen to need directions somewhere you'll find that no one knows any street names or freeway exit numbers and everything is "down the road apiece". Thank goodness for Map quest! Despite the obvious differences I have made some deep and lasting friendships here. Jerry and I just bought our retirement home in the moderately populated town (2460 folks) of Fairfield Bay. 2800 sq ft, 4 acres of land 5 minutes from a gorgeous lake, private tennis and golf courses for $84,500. Take that Californians! Sorry I couldn¼t resist. My in-laws moved here a couple of years ago from Tracy and just love it. "People in glass houses...¾ As for health our oldest son Jason has a genetic disease that will eventually end his young life. He has already beaten the odds by living as long as he has. For those of you who are or have experienced the illness or death of a child - there are no words to describe the guilt and anguish a parent must bear. My heart and soul go out to all of you. Our second son Jeremy was diagnosed with ADD at the age of 12, unfortunately I refused to allow him to take Ritalin because of the social taboo associated with it and forced him to seek self medication - he selected alcohol. Our baby girl Jenny is as healthy as a horse but has a learning disability that is hampering her ability to finish college. With all of that said; the 3 of them have developed into adults that my husband and I actually enjoy spending time with. When they all turned 18 I sat down and wrote each of them a letter asking their forgiveness for all of the mistakes I had made (and there were plenty) while raising them. Graciously they all did. My darling Jerry has weathered the years well recently losing about 50 lbs and looking as "stud muffinish" as ever. In the grand scheme of things I am holding my own. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 38. (Got it from my father - gave it to my son) This news confirmed why "cross tops" were my D.O.C. at M.H.S. Good thing we weren¼t cook¼ in meth at the time! Sorry had a flash back. The medication Adderal has so profoundly changed my life that I often wonder how different things would have been in high school if I had had it then. I am paying dearly for my years of nursing, with bilateral carpal tunnel and my second back surgery, this time with a fusion and bone graft. My last patient weighing in at 500 lbs. Speaking of weight; childbirth, total hatred of exercise (that is how I got into nursing by ducking P.E. with an off-campus class) and now menopause, have not been kind to the waist line. Having always been the "girl with a good personality, but..." I gave up the self-loathing game along time ago. "If you have your health, you have everything". Despite it all I am extremely grateful for all of the gifts life has given me, 3 fairly well adjusted children (remember how we were), a stable marriage (all relationships take work) to an average guy (divorced the idiot) and fairly good health. It could be, and for some it is, worse. What is the opposite of y¼all? All Y'all! See Y'all in November. Pat

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